On Monday, April 14, six elite American women blasted off into space from west Texas on a self-piloting rocket ship developed by the space technology company Blue Origin, owned by bazillionaire Amazon founder Jeff Bezos. The “crew” of the much-ballyhooed all-female flight – marketed by Blue Origin as a giant leap not only for womankind but for the entire world – included pop star Katy Perry, television personality Gayle King, and Bezos’s fiancee Lauren Sanchez, author of the children’s book The Fly Who Flew to Space and the organiser of the wannabe feminist space excursion.
In preparation for the star-studded spectacle, Elle magazine ran a fawning cover story on the “historic mission”, which the magazine described as “the first time anybody went to space with their hair and makeup done”. By the end of the article, which is basically a continuous succession of aneurysm-inducing lines, one finds oneself with little hope for the world aside from that an asteroid would strike and just put an end to it all.
Perry, for example, is quoted as declaring that “we are going to put the ‘ass’ in astronaut”, while also sharing the scintillating logistics of celebrity space travel: “I was like, What am I going to wear?” Then there’s an exchange between Sanchez, who predicts that “we’re going to have [eye]lash extensions flying in the capsule!”, and King, who wonders if the lashes will “stay on”, prompting the response from Sanchez: “Mine are glued on. They’re good.” READ MORE AT AL JAZEERA ENGLISH.